As we commemorate fathers today, I want to take a moment to celebrate all the responsible, loving, and caring dads out there. This brings to mind my own relationship with my father, Mr. Patrick Kinyanjui, during my upbringing. I used to have quite a bit of fear for my dad. Instead of running towards the door to greet him, I would hastily head in the opposite direction and retreat to my room, even though he would simply unlock the door with a key.
Growing up, I perceived my dad as a strict individual who only seemed concerned about whether I had eaten, was properly clothed, and had my school fees paid. Our conversations were often brief, usually revolving around my immediate needs or how school was going. From my perspective as a child, I failed to see the positive aspects of his actions and was more focused on the negative ones. This was because, when it came to discipline, my dad had an uncompromising approach. He adhered to the Bible verse found in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Whenever I misbehaved, I would receive a sound scolding, yet despite the punishments, I would sometimes repeat the same mistakes due to my mischievous nature.
One of my biggest fears at that time was the darkness, and my dad was well aware of this. Nonetheless, he would send me to the shop around 7 p.m., causing me great anger and leading me to question whether he truly loved me. But what I eventually realized was that he would secretly follow me, ensuring my safety as I faced my fear of darkness. He did this to help me become a courageous and fearless daughter.
In hindsight, I failed to appreciate the wonderful moments we shared in the past. Each morning, he would take me to school on his bicycle, and along the way, he would buy me two Mandazi, which I would proudly carry to school. On Sundays, as we boarded the matatu to go to church, he would let me sit on his lap, even if there were empty seats available nearby.
While he may not have been heavily invested in my academic performance, he made sure that all the necessary supplies were provided, going above and beyond to ensure I never missed any school trips. Through him, I had the opportunity to experience numerous adventures. He also enlightened me on the dos and don’ts of our cultural history as Kikuyu ladies. My second name used to bother me since I thought it didn’t fit me. I wanted to avoid the name “Waceke,” which when translated means “thin,” despite being a chubby little girl. But, until I embraced it and started to be proud of it, my dad would occasionally call me by that name.
Waking me up for school was always an interesting affair for my dad. He would rise early, switch on the radio, and when 6 a.m. approached, he would raise the volume a bit higher. With the cacophony reaching my ears, I knew it was time to wake up. If that wasn’t effective, he would push open the door to my room and switch on the lights. It was a family rule that we never closed our bedroom doors, although I have yet to fully comprehend the reason behind it.
My dad taught me the art of farming, ensuring that no animal frightened me. He taught me how to milk cows and feed goats, as he had a great passion for farming. I cherished how he would proudly celebrate even my smallest victories. When he introduced me to his friends, he would tell them how much I resembled his beautiful mother and how I would make him proud one day. Even today, whenever I snap a photo.
I always send it to him, knowing that he holds the key to affirming my beauty. My dad built my confidence. He is honest with me when I make mistakes, providing guidance and solutions for some while allowing me to face others on my own as part of my learning and growth. It’s impossible to fully express in writing the extent of his goodness. As George Strait wrote and sang, “Let me tell you a secret about a father’s love: fathers may not show their love frequently, but it’s a love without end. Amen.”
I am proud to say that the most valuable lesson my father taught me was respect, not just towards older individuals, but also towards those my own age. Many people have commended me for the respect that radiates from within me, all thanks to my dad.
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Daddy love 😍